I'm not saying who's right and who's wrong, but DD got into a fistfight at school today. Each child says the other threw the first punch. I guess it's a good thing I was too sick to go to work today, because I got a call from the school at 1:30pm, asking if I would come and fetch her. I dragged my sorry self off the couch, where I had been parked since 7am, and drove to the school. LilOne was waiting for me in the office, and we wended our way down into the bowels of the school (this school is FAR too large in my opinion) to the office of one of the Assistant Principals. Also in there was the school Resource Officer (read cop) and we sat down and had a discussion about what happened and what was going to happen. To her credit, DD said that she and the other girl were now friends which is better than beginning a huge feud that could last through the rest of the school year or longer. We were told that she was suspended for an entire school day. I made the comment that I didn't believe suspension was a punishment, but rather a reward. I said that our discipline at home was going to definitely be more meaningful, starting with zeros on all assignments for the term of the suspension. The assistant principal said that she could be allowed to make up the work, but I preferred that the zeros stand. I think it really lets the student know the seriousness of the infraction. I did give her the choice though, of taking zeros, or skipping the next SCA event. She can choose. Another punishment that will not be commuted is that she will lose all her recordings on the DVR. She watches far too much television as it is. She agreed that this was fair. But when I told her that she had to tell Nana, she began to cry. She doesn't have to tell Grandpa, but she does have to tell Nana. When we were walking out, she thanked me for not making her tell Grandpa.
So what do you all think? Was I too harsh? Not harsh enough? Fair? Unfair? She still has to go to court over this, which I think is making way too big a deal about it. The resource officer said that he would try to make it a peer court rather than before a judge, but he couldn't promise. I think we need to move to a smaller place, with a smaller school.
ETA
I am really upset that the first comment I got on this post seems to be spam, and I am unable to delete it for some unknown reason. Therefore, I've had to implement the goofy letters to make sure I don't get any more spammers. *sigh*
ETA
If I log in on another computer, I can delete the spam comments. Shall I keep the goofy letters?
3 comments:
It sounds as if telling Grandpa is your best bet as future punishment!
I have to agree that suspension can be seen as a reward by some children. so what if they have to stay home from school, when they don't care to be there anyway. I also think that fair and unfair is relative, and it all depends upon the temperment of the child. for my child, that would be too easy but for yours it may work just fine. my oldest needs to have more severe punishments many times due to a mild case of ADHD, or he won't remember the punishment and will repeat the crime. it's all individual. if you're satisfied that it's enough and she's truely sorry, then you're doing fine.
OH goodness*~* What a day.. I think you are right.. I also think it is good you let her be part of the discipline process and for her to make the decision on if she thinks it was fair.. It lets her really think about it.. I just hope the other girl gets some kind of discipline? Not just missing school?? COURT?? Oh great!!
Fairy dust to you and DD.
Beecharmer
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